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The Very Secret Diary of....
Sarah the co-writer
Day 1
My friends tell me they have decided to make a Star Wars fan film.
I have decided to move to Brazil. Question -- can I purchase Prozac in the airport's duty-free shop?
Day 4
Apparently we do have an extradition treaty with Brazil. Damn the World Court!
Consumed several neon-colored libations with pretty, pretty paper umbrellas and cherries in them, plus all the flight-sized bottles I could snatch out of the drink trolley before the flight attendant pulled the taser on me.
Day 6
Am ready to help come up with bold, vibrant, original story that will rock the fan film world. How hard can that be?
Day 7
Can feel the creative juices churning away. The perfect story idea is just around the corner!
Day 8
Any minute now....
Day 9
Really sure it's coming to me, right on the tip of my tongue....
Day 10
Got it! It'll be the passionate story of a Corellian general who is betrayed by his friend Anakin Skywalker (who is jealous of the general's popularity with the Jedi Council) and condemned to life in the Geonosian arena. When the Emperor visits, there's a smashing scene where the general takes off his helmet and reveals his identi--
What?
Oh.
Dawn informs me that it's been done.
Well, what if we call it an homage?
Humph.
Day 11
M&Ms, Doritos, HoHo's, Absolut -- have restocked with the necessities of the writing life and am ready to brainstorm about the story again.
Day 14
All the HoHo's are gone. Sho sad. Here, HoHo! Come back! I love you, you know that? Really, really love you. You so nice an' sweet an' chok-- choch-- choool-- you taste good. You smart, too. Laugh a' all my jokes. An' you get along with the M&Ms too. An' the Absolut. You're all shuch good friends. Not like those bashtard chipsh, gettin' my fingersh all orange-y and crumbsh everywhere. Ungrateful chipshesh.
Day 15
Aldjflal; ;'j;lahou talksdjflasfuoujj2075qytha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Day 20
Rehab, anyone? All the cool kids have done it. Good lord, Affleck even has an Oscar for writing....
Day 25
Dawn has determined that the story will take place between Eps III and IV. Must have story written and filmed before George completely screws it all up and contradicts everything he's said and done in the past. Plus we can kill all the Jedi we want.
Day 32
Story really coming together. Have taken several lunch and dinner meetings to hammer it out. Note: avoid Red Robin restaurant until wait staff forgets unfortunate "Imagine this tower of onion rings is a Tie fighter and this glass of water is the smuggler's corvette" incident.
Day 40
Laughing myself silly. Dawn has completed script from our story and has obviously gone off deep end. Prison planet. Ambassadorial reception. Towering Corellian skyscraper with dramatic jump out window. Ancient Jedi temple. Cast of hundreds of extras. Am considering giving up chocolate and alcohol and demanding whatever crack she's smoking.
Not to worry. Shane clearly more sane than Dawn at the moment. Will rein her in and be more realistic. It's not like we could even find places like that to film, much less get that many people and costumes....
To be continued --
depending on whose diaries we find!
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